A ban on the word feminist? It already exists.

I was recently at the pub with some people for a friend's birthday. Half of these people I knew, some of them I didn't and a few of them I had met briefly. Somehow, somewhere along the line, one of my friends mentioned that I was part of the Feminism Society at my university.

The reaction that followed was nothing out of the ordinary for when I mention the fact I'm a feminist. I was immediately questioned as to 'why' I attended by one of the guys who was there.

I replied with my stock answer: 'I find it interesting, I like the debate'.

Although this is the truth; it's only half of it.

I avoid branding myself as a feminist to people who clearly don't understand what the term means because I think it creates unnecessary friction and tension between me and the person who is asking. Generally because, in my own head, I think they'll see me as some kind of bra-burning man-hating misandrist. 

I explained it to myself one day as this: I will call myself a feminist to those who associate the word with being an advocate of equal rights. I will not call myself a feminist to those who associate it with wanting women's rights instead of or over men's.

However what happened when I was at the pub, coupled with Time magazines recent poll where 'feminist' was included in their list of words to ban, has made me think a little differently about this issue.

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I am a feminist, yet I know that as soon as I am in a position where people don't understand entirely what that means, I feel like I'm shrinking to at least two sizes smaller.

For some reason, the word that I am proud to brand myself as is also the word that I am weary of branding myself as.

But surely it's completely backwards that, as someone who believes in women's rights, I deny myself the right to talk about this freely?

The word 'feminist' is in some weird place between being socially taboo and almost culturally irrelevant that means people refrain from speaking it out loud. 

There's no point in banning a word that is already banned in so many social situations; already banned in people's minds; already banned as a thing to be proud of - something to shout about loud and clear.

Voters in the Time magazine poll wanted a ban that has already happened.

This ban is widespread and incredibly influential, but it can be lifted.

And the most important way that it can be lifted is by yourself in your own mind. 

If you in any way feel the way I do about calling yourself a feminist, if like me you have banned yourself from stating that you are a believer in equal rights, the best you can do is try to lift that ban.

The next time you find yourself in a situation like I was a few days ago, when a person asks 'are you a feminist?' or 'why are you a feminist?', allow yourself to speak the truth. 

Tell them that you are a feminist because you believe in the equality of the sexes. 

Tell them that you believe that women are entitled to the same amount of pay as men, in the same way that men should be entitled to the same amount of parental leave as women. 

Source: Garry Knight, Flickr.

A great man (or Dumbledore, you know, whatever) once said that 'fear of a name only causes fear of the thing itself'.

If we let ourselves be fearful of the word feminist, and of it's repercussions, all we do is enable the ban on this word to continue.

Using a word that has so many ambiguities and so many concerns regarding exactly what it is will only encourage people to ask questions. And in answering them freely, not holding any of your opinions back, you're helping them to understand exactly what feminism is. 

And this kind of education is exactly what's needed to lift the ban on the word feminist.

It's just a matter of letting people in on the secret that, actually, feminists don't hate men - we'd just quite like to share the world.

Things University Has Taught Me

Exactly two months ago today I moved to university. Living alone for the first time in 18 years was both a massive shock to the system and a massive learning curve, and I feel like I've been here for years but also like the whole thing is still temporary - as if I'm on holiday and next week I'll be going back to my mum and dad.

Although I haven't been here for a huge amount of time I've definitely learned a lot, so here's a succinct list of the 'top ten' things uni life has taught me so far:

1. The importance of time keeping

I cannot stress how helpful this is. There is a reason it's number one on the list.

My tutors mentioned how much time management would help me and others on my course, but I dismissed it because I seem to have this profound ability to ignore information that's actually really useful.

But a few weeks ago (when my first proper deadlines were quickly approaching) I felt like I was being suffocated the amount of work I had to do. Seriously, if you're thinking of going to university/further education, make sure you manage your time effectively. It'll save your life.

2. Don't dismiss supermarkets like Aldi and Lidl

Why buy a cucumber for 49p from Morrisons when you can buy one for 22p from Aldi?

There's literally no difference except for the fact that you're bank balance will be so much better off because of it.

3. Cheaper make-up is a God-send

I freaked out when I realised I was going to be a on £30 a week budget, mainly because I was worried I wouldn't be able to afford the foundation I normally buy. So before going to university, I decided to do a test-run of some cheaper makeup and I was very pleasantly surprised.

Where before I used to spend over £10 on my foundation, I now spend no more than £6 and it does exactly the same (if not better) job.

4. You should always take the time to make your money go further

Buying in bulk when there's an offer on, or investing in a larger box of cereal or something that gives you 50% extra for free is always worth it. Even if you think 'I could never eat that many cornflakes in my entire life' - you should do it, because the chances are you will eat that many cornflakes and you'll be thanking your past self for deciding to splash out a little more money, because it's worth it in the long run.

5. Pre drinking is always a good idea

I'm not going to advocate drinking to excess on this blog, because naturally I would never dream of getting drunk. Ahem.
But one way to make sure you spend less money when you're on a night out, is to have a few drinks before. This minimizes the number of drinks you'll buy yourself whilst out, and also mean you tend to have a better time wherever you go and will be less likely to leave and pay to get into another club or bar.

6. 'Cool' doesn't exist

I thought I would leave the idea of the 'cool' and 'uncool' when I left secondary school at the age of sixteen, but unfortunately the concept of popularity still plagued the college I went to for the next two years of my life.
But I am pleased to tell you all that university finally manages to shake off this concept.

I think it's because the majority of people at university have moved away from home and so everyone is keen to make friends, and because of this people open themselves up to socialising with those that they may have otherwise regarded as 'uncool' or 'too cool' for them.

7. My parents did A LOT

I'm almost ashamed to admit that I never really thought about how much my mum and dad did for me whilst I lived at home. 

Since moving away I've begun to notice that doing work all day, coming home and cooking food, and then cleaning up after yourself constantly (cause nobody else is gonna do it for you) is actually really tiring and time consuming.

8. Unplanned nights are the best

Some of the best nights out I've been on since coming to university are the ones that are organised in the last minute. Sometimes just dropping all sense of responsibility and sensibleness is a really great way to start a night.

9. New jewelry can be used make an outfit different - not new clothes

If you're struggling to make old clothes work in new ways, instead of buying a new top or some new jeans - try purchasing a new necklace or something. It costs so much less than buying a new item of clothing and can genuinely  make an outfit feel new again.

10. Cooking is an art form

Knowing what to cook, planning it out, understanding what flavours go with what and managing not to set the fire alarm at the same time is a feat only few people can manage. 

If you happen to be one of those few, I have major respect for you.

Buntys Tea Room | Tea For Two

Whilst out and about in Lincoln recently, I've been noticing this little cafe tucked into the side of Steep Hill and looking like one of the cutest places in the world. 

After deciding to bite the bullet and go for it (well, as much as one can 'go for it' on a student budget), and I went with a friend to have a cup of tea and slice of cake there one day.

We ordered tea for two, which was very cheap between us, and a slice of peanut butter chocolate cake each - although we probably could have shared that too as they were huge.

The people who served us were lovely, and the traditional English furniture and ornaments mixed with quaint music made it one of the most relaxing environments I've ever been in. 

It's not too far up the hill that it's a trek to get to, but it's still far enough that you feel you deserve a rest after walking all that way. 

I love that it's different from all the places in Lincoln designed for students, while at the same time feeling really classic and cool. It just gives something a little different that I think a lot of cafes often miss out on, and it's gonna be my go-to thirst aider whenever I'm walking up that ridiculous hill again.

An Absence Explained

This blog post has been a long time coming. 

Suddenly disappearing off the face of the earth without a word was definitely not part of my plan for September and October, but the longer I left it the harder it became to get back into blogging.

The reason for my disappearance is because from mid September my life changed quite drastically. I started attending university in Lincoln, which meant moving to a different city, saying goodbye to mum and dad and having to fend for myself like an actual grown-up. 

Because of this, I had to refocus my efforts on becoming comfortable with my new surroundings, as I've been determined from the start that this experience is going to be one I'll remember fondly. 

Luckily it's been amazing so far. I work a lot and my course definitely challenges me, but in a good way. And I love the independence that living alone in a brand new town has given me. I already feel like I've known the friends I've made here for years, and it seems like I've been here for months - but it's only been seven weeks!

Lincoln itself is beautiful, this is a photo I took of the cathedral from the castle wall (please excuse the rather hipster filter - I had a bit of a moment). You can basically see this anywhere you are in Lincoln, as it's right at the top of Steep Hill (the clue is in the name).

Steep Hill is also lovely. And although I can't walk up it without getting out of breath yet, the independent shops and lovely little cafes make it look like something out of a fairytale. 

There is also the Brayford Waterfront, which is full of swans and looks lovely on a night time with all the bars and restaurants lit up around it. You can take boat trips along the water too, if looking at it from the pavement isn't enough for you.

Lincoln is also full of quirky little things like the Sausage Festival that took place last weekend. It was full of food stalls and other bits of entertainment, and although I couldn't eat anything there because I'm a vegetarian, the friendly local atmosphere was enough for me to enjoy myself.

As you can tell from how long this blog post is, I've really fallen in love with Lincoln and I'm so happy I made the decision to come here. I'm at a really exciting time in my life right now - it's almost worth the amount of money it's costing me - and although I did fall out of the blogging routine for a while, I'm determined to use this experience to make my blog better than ever!