Flaws | An Exploration

I have terrible, unruly eyebrows that have never done what they are told, and awful dark shadows under my eyes for as long as I can remember.

But in between my eyebrows and dark shadows, I have bright green eyes and long eyelashes - the features I am most proud of.

There are times when my mouth looks too big for my face, and I have a lump on the inside of my top lip from when I split it open as a child.
But behind those lips, I have white teeth that are perfectly straight. I always look better in photos for showing them when I smile.

 

I have suffered from blackheads around my nose for as long as I can remember - they are the one thing that always needs to be concealed whenever I am putting makeup on.
But the rest of my skin is practically blemish-free, and I am always told by friends and family members what a lovely complexion I have.

Sometimes I look at my collar bones and wish they didn't stick out so much; they are my least favourite part of having a frame like mine.

But being this way means that I have a slender, elegant and delicate neck.

 My hair is often wild and can't be tamed. I find it very difficult to style my hair and keep it that way.

But having such a mane of hair gives me something to hide behind when I'm feeling shy or uncomfortable.

 The skin on my legs is pale and I am covered in bruises from God knows where.

But the skin on my arms tans to a lovely shade of golden brown in the summer and features dozens of moles that cluster in patterns all over.

Flaws are a natural part of the human body, and although we are told we should be proud of them, it is hard to in a society that judges us so harshly.

The solution is not to cover them up, to pretend they don't exist, or to hide them. The solution is to find one thing we like about our body for one that we don't. A positive for a negative; a personal strength for a perceived weakness.

Humans are both perfection and imperfection. To try and change that would only be unnatural.

But why say you're a FEMINIST when you could say you're an EQUALIST?

And so the saying goes every time somebody dares to declare themselves a feminist.

Source: Julie Jordan Scott, Flickr.

I was recently confronted with this very problem in the form of a Facebook status. I know what you're thinking, why on earth are you wasting your time getting angry about a Facebook status? And honestly, I have no idea. I think I was just feeling that way out.

The status is question was not specifically related to women's rights, however the comments quickly turned into a discussion about feminism. One person stated that 'the feminist movement is now tainted by man-hating maniacs and tumblr fanatics', and others agreed, with one commenting skeptically that 'Apparently feminism nowadays is about bashing on every male who ever makes a statement that involves women... And there I was thinking feminism was about equality'.

And there I was thinking that we had begun to move past the idea that 'feminism' is a dirty term, but hey ho. 

The comment that bothered me the most, however, was one that provided the belief that anyone who wants equality should call them themselves an equalist, not a feminist. 

And to that comment I call absolute bull- well, let's just say I don't agree. 

To me, 'equalist' is a blanket term that refers to a basic belief in equality. 'Equalist' is also the umbrella held over all movements towards equality: anti-racism, feminism, LGBT etc. Someone who calls themselves a feminist is an equalist - the two stem from the same belief, it's just that one is general and one is specific. 

It's exactly the same concept as somebody being a gay rights supporter considering themselves an 'equalist'. You wouldn't ever catch somebody calling out the LGBT community on being too exclusive because it ignores race/religion/gender.

Again, it harks back to this idea that feminism is full of man-haters. 

Like we have time in our busy schedules of being mothers, daughters, wives, maintaining a healthy lifestyle, balancing work and leisure, at the same time as trying to self-improve through things like eating more organically or taking bubble baths because Cosmo says we should, to actually specifically target men and bully them.

I don't know about anybody else, but I am getting very tired of people assuming feminism is a direct hit at men, rather than a direct at the ascribed power and privilege that surrounds them. 

So next time somebody asks me 'Why are you a feminist rather than an equalist?' I am going to refer them to this: 

Hopefully they will see the word 'equality' in there, and make the connection between that and 'equalist' in their heads before feeling very, very silly indeed.

And if they're still feeling left out because of the words 'women's rights', I'll point them in the direction of the millions of women who have felt exactly the same way due to society advocating men's rights over the centuries, and see how they feel then.

So, I've taken up yoga...

And it's the greatest decision I have ever made.

Source: Jean Henrique Wichinoski, Flickr.

For those of you that read my post on new year's resolutions, you will know that I have decided to become more organised this year to combat/reduce the amount of stress in my life.

Improving my organisational skills has been a massive benefit to me already this year, however to help me even more in my quest for what I like to call 'Ultimate Calm Mode', I decided to start doing yoga.

Now I'm not talking about attempting to contort my body into various poses that even the most flexible of beings would not be able to achieve - I simply mean a gentle 20 minutes yoga exercise every morning to help me throughout the day.

I've downloaded an app on my phone called Yoga For Beginners, that gives a choice of exercises depending on exactly what kind of result you would like to achieve. For example, there are routines that combat stress, make you feel happier, relax you and make you feel more energised. 

I normally choose the energising exercise, and hopefully I'll eventually be able to replace my morning cup of coffee with my yoga routine in order to feel more awake (alas, I am not quite there at the moment).  

Not to mention there are huge health benefits from doing yoga, including improving your posture, preventing breakdowns in your joints, building up on muscle strength and flexibility, as well as allowing your blood pressure to drop. 

There's even been research to suggest that yoga can bring down levels of inflammation in cancer patients(!)

Although I did feel a little silly at first as I tried and failed to combat half the poses thrown at me by the app, I now feel strange not doing yoga in the morning. 

If anything - and I can't believe I'm actually saying this - 20 minutes of yoga is worth more than that extra 20 minutes in bed I would get otherwise.

The Virgin Suicides by Jeffrey Eugenides | Review

Source: Hannah Karina, Flickr.

Written in beautiful prose, sometimes hilarious and often creepy, The Virgin Suicides tells the story of the five Lisbon sisters and how they came to kill themselves. 

It's set in a suburban town in America, from the narrative viewpoint of the men who were once the boys that witnessed the suicides of Mary, Therese, Cecilia, Bonnie and Lux. 

All through the book the reader is subject to the yearning they felt as boys to be close to the Lisbon sisters; to speak to them, or reach out to them. To touch these untouchable girls and let them know that they exist. The style and tone of the book casts an image of these angelic yet unreadable girls, gliding through the halls of their high school, affecting everyone but never noticing.

The book depicts wonderfully the way a community reacts to crisis. It is shown best of all when, after Cecilia is the first of the girls to kill herself by jumping out her window and onto the garden fence below, the men of the street come together and decide the only way to respond is to take the fence down.

One of the many, many things I love about this book is that it is in no way a book that is trying to explain suicide. In some parts of the book, it's difficult to distinguish if Eugenides is even trying to make a point about suicide at all. 

It could be argued that the Lisbon girls did it to escape from the tyranny of their over-protective mother, or because they were sick and tired of being watched, gawped over and idolised by the boys in the town. But none of that seems right.

For the most part, it just feels like a story about an interesting turn of events that happened over the course of a year. The way that the boys' efforts to save the girls seem almost silly, and how now, as men, their attempt to try and understand why the Lisbon sisters had to die is depicted as futile, conveys the idea that there is nothing to be understood, nothing to be interpreted.

To me, there is not explanation as to why the Lisbon girls killed themselves. And to go looking for one is a waste of time. The suicides are simply things happened and, unfortunately, something that the boys will find hard to forget.

December Favourites!

 December has never been a favourite of mine - I hate cold weather, and when I was at college it was the time when I had to start revising for January exams which were always a major stress. 

However, despite not getting along with the month itself, I have found a fair few things that have made December a bit more bearable!

1. I was given this checked fleece jacket by my uncle and I absolutely adore it. It's great for keeping warm, and looks great to throw on over a pair of jeans

2. I wear this dark gold necklace all the time on nights out, and the three little bracelets next to it are what I wear on a daily basis.

3. Continuing on with my 80s obsession, I recently watch St. Elmo's Fire. As it's not a John Hughes film, I did notice the difference in the way it's been directed, and it was strange seeing the likes of Judd Nelson and Ally Sheedy in a film that was styled differently, but I fell in love with it all the same.

4. The one book I've read that stuck out at me this month has definitely been The Virgin Suicides by Jeffrey Eugenides. I'm not going to say much about it, as there is a review coming very soon - but I've not felt this deeply affected by a book for a long time.

5. I've been wanting loads of the Kate Moss Rimmel lipsticks for ages, but this one has become a particular favourite this month. I love the colour of it, and I think pale lips often go unnoticed as being perfect for winter fashion.

6. This combination of a black and white patterned dress with a chunky black jumper over the top has been my go-to outfit this December, I've worn it so much I think people are starting to assume they're the only clothes I own.